Life is Fair

Dear All,

I can honestly say its been too long since I have taken the time to write. Life has a way of sending me in directions I never thought I would go. Every day I find myself in a realm of confusion with where I am in my life right now.

I am currently in Alabama living very close to my family, I never realized how much I missed them. I have not lived near them in almost 6 years. Basically, since I left for college in 2004. It has been interesting knowing my parents when I am now an adult. I can respect them more now than when I was a teenager because I have a better understandidng of life and how the events we go through shape who we are.

I have been working at an employee assistance program for the last five months. I was an office manager/executive assistant. Lesson learned from that job; every small detail counts, always cover your tail so you can answer any question asked, something’s are too good to be true, you can have integrity in any situation no matter what anyone says about you, because God will take care of the rest, do your best at everything you do because even when you fail you can sleep at night, don't be afraid to take up for yourself, you will respect yourself in the end. People do not determine your worth-you do, never burn bridges no matter how bad you want to pour gas on the bridge, line it with dynamite and any other explosive you can think of, always give your employer 10 minutes before work and after not on the clock, it shows you care about your job.

I said a lot of one liners I have learned recently, but I could fill a book with what I learned about trusting people. I trust people from the beginning when I meet them, even though they have given me no reason to believe them. I get hurt a lot, because I expect people to treat me how I would treat them, so when they don't treat me how I would treat them when a situation is bad, I get deeply hurt because I trusted that person to treat me with respect. The real world outside of my brain can be an unjust place. As I talked with my Wife last night at our favorite place to hangout and she said you have to find the people like Frank and Sheri Hawley who treat people with respect no matter the situation and keep them in your life people those types of people are rare, they are the exception to the rule of life.

I will wrap up this blog by saying no matter what life throw at me God is consistent, never changing, always present and forever loving. In every walk of life I find myself, he is here for me. He hears me, sees me and watches over me. Nothing happens in my life without him knowing.

Life Lessons

This is my second blog and I’m excited to share my thoughts, questions and life experiences with you. I’m sitting in my new home about 75% unpacked from the move from Orlando. It blows me away that I’m literally staring at God’s provision in my Wife’s life and mine. We are living in a place almost twice as big as our old apartment and virtually rent-free. We have all new appliances, more space then we could ask for and it is fixed up the exact way we want it- awesome.

We have a place to live, and now I need a job. I don’t know why, but I decided to ask God for a job that pays $620 a week and see if I get it. It says in the bible that we can ask for anything, so I’m going out on a limb and asking God for big things, after all, I’m living in a miracle.

I’m at a point in my life where I’m taking a deep look into who I am, what makes me tick, what gets me excited, what makes me sad, happy, and secure. Really, I’m asking myself what is the essence of who I am? Is it the same it was 5 years ago or has God changed my heart? I know that as of the past few months I have learned a few life lessons I will carry on the rest of my life.

Reading my Bible and praying in the morning is essential to my day. Without it, I lack a clear conscience because it is only after I let God’s word permeate my soul can I go through my day knowing Him and me are on good terms. I’m trying to get better at reading and praying, because adding praying to the mix in my morning is awesome. I’m not talking like the “Dear Jesus help me make it today”, but praying for the people in my life and the situations they are going through. The prayer where you really connect with God and ask him to use me and make me more like his Son prayer times. I’m sure by now you are thinking ok “Super Christian” with your cape and fancy emblem cross on your chest, I can’t do that, I have a life, kid’s, a job, a wife, and school. I used to feel that way about people who seemed to have it all together with their spiritual lives, but I can honestly say if you don’t make praying and reading a priority you won’t do them. For me, praying and reading in the morning works because it is me showing God that He is the my first priority and I’m not letting anything else keep me from my #1.

Another life lesson I’m trying to embrace is that confession of sin is a good thing. It gives you a clear conscience and makes your relationship with God a million times better if you are faithful to truly repent after you confess your junk. However, it does no good if you only confess and there is no action to follow it (1 John 1:9). Side Note: don’t wait for years if you have a sin issue to get help. As humans we have a way of not dealing with our junk until it destroys our lives. Please, for the love of all things holy be sensitive to the Holy Spirit and if a issue begins to arise, handle it before it becomes a monster; pull out the root of the sin before it becomes a red wood tree in your soul. Sin will only get worse the longer you wait to deal with it. Having a trusted friend or pastor to able to tell what you are dealing with is good. Confessing your problems is good for you and it is even better when you confess and are ready to move on past the issue. I love 1 John 2:1-2 because he says I hope you don’t mess up, but if you do, we have the one who paid the price for it all!

Finally, the last of the life lessons I will share with you. Tithe! When I read the book “The Blessed Life” my life changed and God gave me a spiritual beat down about tithing. Tithing and giving are such a blessing to do. To be able to give God the first of what He has given me is a shout out to God that I recognize what He has given me. I used to be bitter and cynical about tithing. God doesn’t need my money, why do I have to give 10%? I have learned that God loves a cheerful giver; he blesses those who give freely when he asks. I’m so tired of the argument that 10% was only the Old Testament way of doing things. I think next time I hear that I will try to kill them and say “ that old testament thing about do not kill is so irrelevant these days” You can’t pick and choose! People gave 10% of whatever they had then. We obviously don’t have fruits, vegetables, cows, goats and birds to give to the church. We have money to give so we give 10% of the most important thing we have; money. I apologize for my rant. I figured, it’s my blog; I can rant when I want.

Needless to say, God has taken care of my wife and me because we have been faithful with our tithe and giving. I hope to continue to be a cheerful giver and to be able to watch how God will bless our lives.

All of these life lessons are making up who I am as a person. The older I get the more I wish I had taken care of the roots of sin that latched onto me when I was younger. What if I would have learned to pray and read faithfully years ago? What heartaches could have been avoided if I was a man of my word, confessed, repented and ran away from the things my sinful nature craves. I can only look back and say what if now, but as I daily walk out who I am in God I can only be excited for the future of what God has in store as I live out the adventure he as called me too.

Peace and Grace-

A New Adventure

For the last two years I have been at Evangel Assembly of God in Orlando, FL as the youth and children's pastor; what a journey. I think I could fill up a book with the life experiences I have had for the past two years. The joy, pain, disappointment, moves of God, life lessons and the confidence you only get when you fail and pick your self up to try again. I would say God has been taking all I knew about who I am, holding me upside down, shaking me and saying "Let go of your junk and let me use you!" I always thought I knew better, that God needed me, and I was responsible to allow God to speak to people. I was prideful and arrogant to think that I was the one who made "the ministry happen." I left college full of idea's and ambition that I was somebody. I would be the guy who had transformational, relevant idea's who would make an impact on this world. I found out the hard way it is only God who allows anything to happen and He definitely doesn't need me to do ANYTHING. I am only encouraged that God didn't let me rot in my pride, because in Hebrews 12 it says that God disciplines those He loves and just like we were annoyed at our parents for setting us straight (even though we knew later it was for our good), we became better for it. God broke me down, only to build me up for my good. If only we could look at all of life's challenges as moments to grow!

Today, I'm packing up my office and starting a new adventure with my Wife. I never knew how much I needed someone until I married her. She is my best friend, the person I'm madly in love with and my ally to the ministry. She is a breath of fresh air to my life, because of her gifts and talents. I have almost been married a whole year and what a year it has been. I wish I could tell all you un married people that your first year of marriage is sweetful bliss, but I would only be looking at you and laughing because I know that you will be squirming when you have the first fights with your new spouse and you won't know how to handle yourself. Don't get me wrong, I love my marriage, but you don't understand true love until you get married, and you come to realize what commitment really means. When God says husbands love your wife like Christ loves the church He means "husbands, lay your life down for your bride like I did for mine." As I'm writing this I'm thinking who I am to say such things? Let me be married 25 years before I start acting like I know something. Now when I'm around older couples I bask in the glory of the commitment and really honor them because no matter how much you love someone there will be stress, hard times and a devil that desires to destroy the amazing blessing that marriage is.

Enough about the past! We are moving to Mobile, Al and I'm excited. I'm excited because I have a renewed passion to tell people about Jesus. To no longer keep my mouth shut, but to live as an example and lead people to the reality of the cross! I get the honor of doing that! I'm so excited to see what God is going to do! This will truly be an adventure and that's what we need now. We need to not be sure of the future, to need God, to embrace the unknown and go for it. Who doesn't love adventure? I only feel sorry that I did now view life as journey filled with excitement, passion and villians to beat. I say that because I want to the hero in a action movie. I want to blow something up and say some cheesey line as I'm walking away from the mushroom cloud, covered in dirt and bullets over my shoulder. If I could only make that happen for real! I can only hear people now, "Who's that guy? What's his powers, blind me with his white pale chest?!?"
All joking aside, I start a journey today that only God can determine. I have a peace that only God can provides and a destiny waiting to be fulfilled. It's time to stop worrying about the past and embrace the destiny God has set before us.
 I always used to question how God moves,  but today it's clear how he moves if we only let our guard down, be patient and quit trying so hard to make things happen.